Sermons
Robbed By Regrets
Series: Joy RobbersROBBED BY REGRETS
Sermon By Terry Siverd
Cortland Church of Christ / February 24, 2019
Two Sundays ago we titled our sermon, “If only...then I'd be happy.”
This morning I have titled my sermon, “Robbed By Regrets.
I guess one could safely say that life if full of regrets.
In some sense such might be par for the course.
If only I had ____________; I wish I would have ____________; I wish I wouldn't have ____________;
I could have if I had just ____________; Why did I ____________?; Why didn't I ____________?
If given the chance to do it all over again I would ____________;
If given the change to do it all over again I would never ____________.
These kind of regrets encompass not only deeds done but also deeds we failed to do - -
sins of commission as well as sins of omission.
Life is filled with bad choices, foolish mistakes, squandered opportunities, misused freedoms,
unrealized potential, roads not taken, lost time with loved ones, harsh words rashly spoken,
unfulfilled promises, broken relationships, and sometimes even wasted y-e-a-r-s.
We can all stand on today looking critically about how our imperfect yesterdays
might negatively impact our soon-to-be tomorrows and we can make ourselves
absolutely miserable in doing so, even to the point of inviting poor health.
Many years ago, I heard Dr. Richard Dobbins speak of a phenomena he called,
worshiping the me that might have been.
Have you ever done this - - worshiped the me that might have been?
Most all of us have at some time or another.
We beat ourselves up belaboring the shortcomings of our faulted past.
We seldom think of it as tantamount to idol worship, usually we just think of it as another version of a pity party.
The poet John Greenleaf Whittier wrote - -
“For all the sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: what might have been.”
In one of his most popular songs (My Way), the late Frank Sinatra opined about regrets - -
he's had a few, but then again, too few to mention...
In Frank's case, he seems to take pride in the fact that his life was self-directed - - he did things His Way.
I'm not eager to encourage us to live a life like the one about which Frank sang - -
self-centered, self-serving, self-gratifying and bent on doing things our way.
However, I am hopeful that we've come to learn over time, with God's word being our
helper and other wise instructor being our mentors - -
that we can cope with regrets rather that become consumed by them.
It is true, regrets can become a major joy robber.
Both psychologically and spiritually,
regrets can run the gamut between being mere distractions to becoming completely debilitating.
Unlike Sinatra's boast, however, who among us doesn't have more than a few?
Regrets come in varying degrees.
The dictionary defines regret as follows - - (1) to feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about.
We've all experienced feelings of regret.
Many of our “regrets” are not really all that significant.
I regret that all those years I went to the Pepperdine Lectures, I never took a ride through the canyons.
I regret that I did go on to graduate school immediately after graduating from Harding University.
I regret that our 35 years at Camp Judson flew by so quickly.
I regret that I once bought a Torrino from a used-car salesman named Doorflinger.
I regret that I didn't save money better when I was younger.
I regret that I did not take my high school studies as seriously as I ought to have.
I regret that it has take the Brown over twenty years to finally draft the right quarterback.
It's sound like one of those all-I-ever-needed-to-know-I-learned-in-kindergarten kind of things, but one of
the best ways to cope with regret is to recollect the words of our wise parents, “don't cry over spilled milk”.
Or sometimes their advice would cut to the chase even more with a condensed admonition like, “get over it!”.
Seldom in Scripture do we encounter a Bible character whose life doesn't entail regrets.
We cannot turn back the hands of time to take back the past, but we can fight for the future.
The key here is to permit our regrets to teach us helpful lessons - - not to inflict a lifetime of misery.
Secondly, “regret” is defined as (2) to feel sorrow or grieve over, mourn.
I would add, “to feel remorse”.
This is by far the more serious version of regret.
This second definition is the topic of King David's 51st Psalm,
which speaks of a deep remorse and a profound sorrow for deeds done in days gone by.
This kind of regret is not just about a missed opportunity
(“I should have gone on to graduate school immediately after college”),
it is about a serious mis-deed.
For David, what began with a sinful gaze on the palace rooftop (2Sam.11) metastasized into a multi-headed
dragon that spewed out fire upon David for at least a year. Those months were laced with one regret after another:
lusting … coveting … scheming … cover-up … lies and deception … fornication … drunkenness and murder.
The psalms record David's struggle with this kind of regret. In particular they take note of the compounded sorrow
(lost joy) that comes to us when we downplay the seriousness of sin and fail to truly repent of our sinful deeds.
Be gracious to me, O God, according to Thy lovingkindness; According to the greatness of
Thy compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin if ever before me. / Ps.51:1-3
The only truly productive way to deal with the regret of a past sin is to confess and seek forgiveness.
Ps.51:4 / Against Thee, Thee only, I have sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight.
Ps.51:7-8 / Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness, the the bones which Thou has broken rejoice.
Ps.51:10a & 12a / Create in me a clean heart, O God...restore to me the joy of Thy salvation.
An important part of “repenting” is LEARNING TO LET IT GO!
Like David, we all sin (Rom.3:10).
In Ps.51 David don't say, “God, if you turn back time I will not so much as look at Bathsheba...”
“God, if you turn back time, I will not send my servant to retrieve Bathsheba...”
“God, if you turn back time, I will rescind (cancel) that order to have Uriah killed. “
David didn't try to RELIVE the past. What David did was REPENT.
Beating ourselves up over and over again is not going to change anything.
Obsessing over your unworthiness is not going to change anything.
Constantly digging up the past like a dog digs up and old bone is not going to change anything.
But true REPENTANCE changes everything.
Ps.103:12 / As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Heb.8:12 records this promise from God: For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.
In the New Testament, we see all multiple illustrations of dealing with this more serious version of regret.
We see it in the life of Paul.
The apostle Paul's life began as Saul of Tarsus who was a missionary of mayhem prior to his encountering Jesus.
He was earnestly seeking to destroy the church (Acts 9:1ff & 23:9-11; Gal.1:13 and 1Tim.1:13).
No doubt that those bloody days gave birth to lingering regrets, even after Paul's soul had been cleansed (Acts 22:16).
We read of Paul speaking humbly in referring to himself as “the least of all saints” (Eph.3:8).
In 1Cor.15:9, he refers to himself as “the least of the apostles” (1Cor.15:9).
In writing to Timothy (1Tim.1:15), he speaks of himself as the “chief of sinners”.
Yet Paul did not wither away, indulging in self-pity and unproductive anxiety.
Somehow Paul was about to re-channel even his serious regrets of the pasts into fuel for the future.
He traveled some 12,000 rigorous miles on three missionary journeys - -
not as a missionary of mayhem, but as a missionary of God's marvelous mercy.
We also see it in the life of Peter.
All three synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark & Luke) tells of Peter's denial.
A denial is bad by itself, but this was a denial that was
predicated upon a boast declaring that he would never deny (Mk.14:31 & 14:66f).
Then we read Jn.21:15ff, which one writer calls “the world's greatest epilogue”.
So how do we handle regrets?
If they are not of a serious and sinful nature, we must learn to roll with them. Nobody goes through life
always making the very best choices. Often we find ourselves working from a trial and error vantage point.
Don't get bent out I shape over the little things.
When we are confronted with serious and sinful regrets, we need to deal with them.
If and when something needs to be fixed, FIX IT.
If and when sinful deeds need to be dealt with, CONFESS and REPENT.
It is truly amazing how good confession is for the soul - - produces a JOY that bathes those who draw near to God.
Life is too short to carry around a backpack full of regrets.
