MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN A NOUN

            Someone has written, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb.  It isn’t something you get.  It's something you do.  It's the way you love your partner every day."  In light of the Genesis record, one might argue that marriages are made in heaven.  After God made Adam, He ascertained, It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him…

And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man (Gen.2:18 & 22).  The holy Scriptures declare, For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh (Gen.2:24).  It is true that that first marriage was spoken into existence by our Almighty Creator, but it goes without saying that every enduring marriage requires considerable effort if it is to be blessed with joy, unity and sustainability.  The cultivation of a good marriage requires a good measure of sweat equity.  Healthy and rewarding marriages don't just happen - - even when we’re wed to our soul-mate.  The struggles of every- day life call for ongoing maintenance.  Even something so marvelous as marriage demands due diligence (hard work).      

            The writer of the New Testament epistle to the Hebrews asserts, Let marriage be held in honor among all… (Heb.13:4a).  Not a few have made a mockery of this text, allowing the sacred to become conveniently disposable.  This was never God's intention.  Any man who selfishly dismantles his marriage is neither honoring nor honorable.  Solomon declares, he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains the favor of the Lord (Prov.18:11).  God’s favor is predicated upon not just with the “finding" but also with the "keeping".  A sense of longevity is implied in another proverb:  let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth…Be exhilarated always with her love (Prov.5:18-19).  Jesus refused to sanction the customs that had become popular within the male-centered Judaism of His day.  He condemned easily obtained certificates of divorce as a product of hard-heartedness (Mt.5:31f and 19:7-8).  His reaffirmation of God’s original design is clearly seen in His robust assertion, what God has joined together, let no man separate (Mt.5:6b).        

            The goal of marriage is not necessarily to always think alike, but rather, TO CONTINUALLY THINK TOGETHER.  This joint communication always works best which it is emptied of self.  How wonderful it would be if husbands and wives could focus predominately on Christ and “the other”.  This is precisely the charge that is given to married men by the apostle Paul - - husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her… (Eph.5:25).  In the words of a helpful mentor, “Love is not a feeling, but a decision to will the good of another."  That admonition is deep and with such depth a marriage can remain rooted for the long haul, with the stamina to love till death do us part.

                                                                        Terry Siverd / Cortland Church of Christ