Essays
The IMPOSSIBILITY OF REFRAIN
The IMPOSSIBILITY OF REFRAIN
Sometimes my mom struggled with low self-esteem (perhaps more that any of us will ever realize). The words she spoke to me in the ER on a Sunday night six weeks before she died truly broke my heart. In fact, I walked out of the emergency room and wept. She said to me, I am sooooo tired. I don’t want any more tests. Nothing else! It was not those words in particular that pierced my heart (because I understood how she must feel and I knew that she was so very tired). She went on to say, “I want to be cremated like Dad.” Again, I understood clearly and I was certainly okay with that decision. But then came the part that caused tears to well up within me. She said to me: “You don’t need to have a memorial service for me.”
It breaks my heart to even contemplate that she might have felt herself unworthy of our applause. Did she really not know that it would be IMPOSSIBLE FOR US TO REFRAIN from honoring her life with words and deeds??
Terry Siverd / Cortland Church of Christ
(These words were spoken by me at the memorial eulogy for Gloria Enfinger Siverd - - my dearly beloved mother on March 8, 2010).
P.S. I assured my mother often throughout her last days that she was loved so much by so many and that we would be gratefully celebrating her life!!
